Seven Steps on How to Get Yourself A Girlfriend

Luca Vaccino
Written by
Last update:

Can’t get a girlfriend? Here’s why:

You can’t get a girlfriend because you’re doing it wrong. There are seven secrets to finding and keeping a girlfriend.

{1}. You have to learn how to be charming. Charm is learned. It can be learned. There is a book you can read called “The Art of Charm” that is available at many bookstores. It will teach you how to be charming.
{2}. You have to learn how to be funny. You can learn how to be funny by reading some funny books. You could even try to be funny around your friends. You will find you can be funny if you practice often enough.
{3}. You have to stop caring what other people think.
{4}. You have to figure out what women want. Women want to feel like they are the most beautiful, sexiest, smartest, most interesting, most desired, most well-toned, most perfect, most fabulous person in the universe.

If you can give them the feeling of that every day, they will want to be with you.

{1}. You have to really care about someone more than you care about yourself.
{2}. You have to put a lot into the relationship. You need to put the time and effort it takes to maintain a relationship into every single moment.

You are not trying enough

You aren’t trying as much as the other guys. That’s why you haven’t succeeded to get a girlfriend.

If you are wondering what you can do about it, follow these 7 steps to get yourself a girlfriend.

First, try to be yourself. You have to be someone you like, and leave all the crap out.

Next, Read-I and quote-I everything. I am sure there already millions of lines out there, put into practice.

Be subtle, be honest. the no girl ever likes a guy who talks shit about other girls.

Put yourself in the girl’s shoes. Actually, you can try to put yourself in a really high and rich girl’s shoes.

Girls don’t like when a guy is too dominant and rude. They like when there are two individuals who share the same interests. You should try to be yourself, and to relate to personalities and humor. Things like dancing salsa.

When you meet a girl, try to impress her. You don’t have to be olympic dancer, but show a little of what you are capable of. Salsa or dancing can do a lot to impress some hot girls.

You lack personality, rich experiences, and confidence

You're just not a part of the "in" crowd.

You don't fit in with other people. You're part of a group of people that keeps to themselves.

You feel like you should be in a group of your own, but you don't even like other people. You don't have a group of people you consider friends.

You don't know how to meet girls you like. You don't know what it takes or how to make a girl like you.

You don't know what it means to be attractive. You don't know what the traits are that people actually look for in others.

You don't know what it means to be charming. You don't know how to be charming to people.

You haven't had sex before. You're not as experienced as most of your peers.

You haven't had many romantic relationships. You're inexperienced in relationships and don't know what it takes to be successful in relationships.

You don’t want to make the first move

One mistake guys are usually too excited to make is making the first move. If you rush, you may ruin the opportunity for something better down the line.

The first step in attracting a girlfriend is to start thinking about your strategy. Remember what you are looking for in a girlfriend. (Who is she? What do you like about her?) Then think about what attracts you to the girl you are already seeing. This will help you find traits that you can use.

This is all well and good, but how do you know how to make any sort of move then? The best advice is basically to knock at the door.

If a girl is sitting on a couch and you happen to sit nearby, look for a chance to start a conversation. Over time, you may be able to invite her to go off to chat in a more private place.

Here are some things that may help:

Initiating contact on Facebook is one method.

If you’re at a party and she happens to come and stand nearby you, it may be a good time to speak.

If you walk with a group of people, try asking the girl if she wants to come over to talk for a few minutes.

You are a pervert

Do you really think you can get a girlfriend?

Check your dialogue, it’s both blunt and crude.

This isn’t the only un-polished command you give. In fact, you could best be described as an “overly frank” person.

Despite your painfully transparent nature, there are women who find you attractive. This particular anecdote is from a woman who happened to be browsing Craigslist at the time:

You have no social proof

Do you have a girlfriend? Does your girlfriend have a friend? Doesn’t that friend have a boyfriend? If you’re like 90% of people who are “Just Do It”ing, you don’t have a girlfriend because you don’t have any social proof.

This is a tough break if you’re still in High School. It is like being in a rush-hour traffic jam and not having a car. To get a girlfriend, you need to build social proof.

You don’t know how to talk to a woman

When you are beginning to learn how to talk to a female stranger, you go through several steps. Needless to say, some of these steps are probably unknown to you. We will briefly go over what we think is the most important ones.

It is very important that you practice relaxed body language, as it is the first thing a woman will notice about you. Slouching and looking away from her will communicate to her that you are feeling insecure.

And she will move on.

Forgetting the words you want to say is another mistake that you can make. Practice talking to yourself when you are alone, and record it, if you want to learn proper English pronunciation when talking to an English native.

Talking to strangers is the absolute worst way to learn to talk to women because there is no one there to practice with.

How do you learn to talk to a woman if no one is around?

So you join a dating site and try to talk to women after trying your luck at any singles bar or club in your city.

But why would you do that when all you need to do is talk to your living room wall? That is where you go meet people, even when you are home alone.

Now it gets interesting.

You are too needy

Neediness can be very attractive to a woman, as it shows you are not comfortable being alone and seek validation and a female companion to fill the hole in your life until you find a woman that is trustworthy and worthy of being your best friend.

From an outside perspective it can seem as if you are being needy, but when you are needy you are exceptionally willing to work for the woman you are attracted to. This is because you are in touch with your emotions and are willing to do anything to nurture and coddle her.

You also feel very much self aware and are able to see that you hold certain beliefs that prevent you from being in a sexual relationship with another person. You are able to see your flaws and look at the situation in an empathetic manner rather than seeing yourself as the victim or persecutor.

One action you can take to gain the upper hand is to learn a lot about a woman before you even get to speak with her. You need to research the kinds of movies they like, what music they are into, and in what areas of research they are interested.

This will give you an advantage in getting the girl because you are able to talk to the woman about her interests instead of forcing your agenda and trying to make her like you.

Depending on the area of research you decide to pick you will also be able to discover a new hobby or area of interest that you can explore further.

You don’t care for yourself

Self-compassion is important. You should accept who you are and have confidence. Some people feel depressed because they can’t be with someone because of their appearance, believe themselves to be ugly, uninteresting or inadequate.

It is unlikely to have a girlfriend, if this is the case with you. If you try to look better, you will only make yourself ill and you give up the opportunity of having a girlfriend.

Take self-compassion. Why should you be better, bigger, or stronger than you are? Your appearance, height, weight and so on, are not what makes you attractive to other people. It is also essential to stop comparing yourselves to others every day. It is a good habit to identify yourself with every day with new people, so you forget who you are and the worries you have for yourself.

You don’t really have a real picture of love and a female soulmate in your head

You only know how to tell yourself what you presume other people want to hear.

You figure that if you say the right things, you will get her to like you. You think you are very charming, and this is what makes women fall in love with you.

When you show up at the club to pick up a girl, you think that girls are idiots and that they are just there to have fun with you. You are very naive and have never met a woman before. You don’t know that females are not undine, mermaids from water, or sirens from the sea.

One of the most important steps you can do if you want to get a girlfriend is to actually meet women and ask girls for directions. The first step on the road to getting a female for yourself is to adjust your behavior inasmuch as you can.

You need to change the things you do to those you do not do.

You need to stop doing things that are not normal to be more like this girl and her friends.

Follow these steps to get yourself a girlfriend:

Start your own Blog. Right now, all you have in your blog website is your musing about girls and the few attractive social things you have done.

You don’t see women as human beings

You see women as body parts to be handled.

You define women in terms of what you can do with them.

You notice that they are doing more than just existing,.

And respond by explaining to them what they are doing wrong.

You treat them as though none of them matter,.

You don’t have the slightest doubt that you’re right.

You measure their self-worth through the number of men they’ve slept with.

You have zero dating experience

Listen. A man with his mouth shut is far more attractive than a man who thinks he is a genius and is telling you all about it.

Go out with your friends, but don’t bring up the issue of dating.

Simply be yourself, enjoying each other’s company and giving them the chance to get to know your interests and ideas.

When your interest for dating develops, you have already had enough of discussing philosophy with them.

Be confident in your actions, and you will see that your humor will also make them attracted towards you.

Get Rid of first First Date

Nothing kills the mood like having to take a woman on a first date. On the first date, you should be able to have fun.

However, if you are forced to take her out on the first date, make sure you do not talk to her beforehand.

Also, do not ask her to meet you somewhere. Rather, tell her that you will be at the place.

Time will reveal your own charm. You will then find out if you like the girl or not.

Get two groups of friends together

Invite two groups of friends and ask them to meet at a specific place.

7 sure-fire steps in landing the girl of your dreams

I don’t think there is a better feeling than knowing that you have scored a girlfriend! Now that you have done the necessary work to attract a woman, the next step is to really make her feel good about herself and about you.

When you know what steps you need to take, it can make it easier to close the deal. But remember, you only get one shot at making a woman want your company. You can’t just keep your routine as is.

You need to change things up to make sure that it is new and exciting for the other person. The key is to start doing something different than what you have already done. If you do the same old things and don’t try to “put on a new hat” and be something a little different, you’ll start to push any respect she may have for you farther away.

Step # 1: It all starts with you

This is the first step to getting a girlfriend. By this I mean, this is the first step to the whole process, and there are multiple steps in the process.

So, it all starts with you. Whether you get a girlfriend depends on how well you take care of yourself, which starts with you taking care of yourself. Being comfortable in your own skin is important, because the more comfortable, the more you can get to know someone.

Being confident is very important. My best advice to you: stay confident and show off that confidence. This will make you more attractive and then you will be able to start the first step.

Step # 2: Step outside and look for girls

By now you should have seen a lot of girls and you should have some list of potential girlfriends.

Smile Hello Start Conversation

Smile and say hello, just in case you have forgotten to smile earlier. It’s best to set yourself up for success by sending them a smile.

Step # 3: Position your target

Remember that your target girl wants that same validation that you are giving her. It is up to you to give her that validation.

Just because she throws herself at you does not mean that there is a genuine connection.

You want to assume that she is telling you the truth and she is actually interested in you. If that is why she’s doing what she’s doing, then cherish that and give her a reason to keep doing it for as long as she wants to.

Once she has been engaged, she will want you to do things for her. Be the hero that she’s interested in.

Once you pair up the validation process with a hero, you’ve got a winning combination. The only way to get a girl to want you or to care for you is to make them feel good enough about themselves.

Even if you are someone that attracts better looking, more accomplished girls than the girl that you are trying to get a girlfriend with, assuming that you say the right things and give her what she wants out of you, you can actually have a better quality of relationship with her once she is with you forever.

Step # 4: Get the date

There can be lots of reasons why a date doesn’t go well, it isn’t a good time for you or there is a lack of chemistry. There are a few common mistakes that men make on their first dates which can drastically reduce the chances of a date going well.

Step # 5: Have the date

At a burger place.

Even though it’s only one night, it’s important to relieve stress. Any stress could be a bad thing. One of the best ways of doing this is to have a burger and a beer.

Burgers and beer is one of the best stress relievers in the world. It will take the pressure away from the day and make you feel as if you’re back at home.

Feel free to binge on the fries and value size soda too. It’s what keeps her here.

Step # 6: Explore your chemistry in bed (optional)

Step # 7: From dating to girlfriend

There are many different kinds of people out there. Some of them see a girl and think "Hmmm this girl might be someone I'd like to date" while other people see that same girl and think "Hmmm, maybe I'll stop by the bar and flirt with her and see how things go.."

Both of these people are approaching the same woman, yet with different intentions. And it's your job as a boyfriend to understand what they are thinking so you can get what you want.

Dating and Flirting

First we'll start with dating and flirting. There are three classes of people who will be in the initial dating and flirting phase.

If he's just going to "stop by and flirt" a woman, he may never consider becoming her boyfriend, and quite often other less interested guys do the same. If he's going to "stop by, choose her for the night, then leave", then he's making sure that you're not "just a one night stand." If he's not willing to stop by, then he's not even going to bother calling, texting, or emailing.

So what do you do?

You put just enough effort into dating someone that he keeps coming back every few weeks.

Flirting is what you get, and is time consuming. But if you work at it, the effort is well worth what you gain.

Places where you can find your future girlfriend

Just like that good restaurant that you visit once a year, you need to find a potential girlfriend somewhere too. Although it depends on what kind of attention seeker you are, there are certain places where you can find her easily.

Places where women go to

Meet men:

  • Bar/Night clubs
  • Internet dating sites
  • Telephone dating services
  • House parties
  • Work
  • College/University
  • Families

But where are attractive intelligent women and nice men to find each other?

If you are a man, or you know a man, who wants to find a girlfriend, and would rather not cheat, get her man to buy you a special gift that you can use to learn to attract women.

It may sound strange, but it really works…

You will discover how to get yourself a girlfriend step by step.

You will see how women behave, and discover why.

Do not be afraid of women. You will learn what to do and what not to do, what women want, and what they like and dislike.

Not only is it for a man, it is also for women, and if you get a woman to buy you this book, you and she will learn how to get each other.

Use this book on the full moon, and you will find who your spirit guide is.

If you do not want to cheat, but you want to have a girlfriend, do not do the following:

Social events and gatherings

Are extremely important for getting a girlfriend.

Look at what’s going on in your area and see if there’s any social gathering you should attend. Try going to forums to get an idea of what’s going on in your area and see if anything works well for getting the girl.

If you’re not sure how to approach someone, don’t hesitate to ask them for help. Don’t feel shy about approaching them either. If you are confident and open to talking to them, they are more likely to want to talk to you.

You never know what they might be into, so try to ask them as many questions as you can in as many different areas as you can. Be sure to use the forum to figure out where to meet them, as this is one of the key aspects of this strategy.

Study other people and see how they interact with other people. Get a feel for this and when you are comfortable, try it out with a girl you’d like to approach.

Through friends and family connections

Ask your friends and family for recommendations for people you should meet. They already know her and will give you an honest opinion.

Some of your family members may not be very close to her and may be rather reluctant to talk to you, but some of them may be willing to meet you.

Some other parents may be closer to your parents so go to them for recommendations.

The results from any of these searches will be a list of names and numbers of people that you would otherwise never have met.

All of these people will be on your dating site or Facebook (respectively) and maybe be contacted by you.

You are then able to see the friends she actually has in common with you. This is also important because this is a well known factor to a lot of people.

If you perceive that her friends are not a friendly bunch, then you will want to have nothing to do with her.

Ask Her Out

There are many ways you can show you want to date her. You can wait for her to show some interest or ask her out yourself. Have a good conversation with her using facial expressions, body language, and eye contact.

Don’t make it uncomfortable for her by asking her too many questions about her life.

If you have a good conversation with her, ask her out for the same day or the next day.

Online dating sites

Have changed how we meet people. According to a recent survey, one in three people in the United States have met their current partner through an internet dating site or mobile application.

These sites are helpful, but they can also be a bit deceptive. Here are seven important tips that you might do yourself, which will give you a more authentic opportunity to meet women.

“Today a woman wants to see before asking if you want to go on a date.”

“Every woman you meet online wants a man who is approachable, someone who is willing to work on their relationships.”

“They want a man who wants a relationship.”

“Gone are the days where you can go to the bar and pick up a date.”

“Now, you have to take it to the next step, and this begins by showing interest in what a girl has to say.”

“For the most part, it’s a waste of time if you post pictures of yourself on your profile and have yourself as just a ‘sexy’ guy.”